In the weeks leading up to your due date, you’ll find yourself thinking more and more about how you want your birth to go. While you can’t control everything about your labor and delivery, you can choose who can visit you afterward. And one thing that many moms are considering lately is no visitors for two weeks after birth.
Whether you want absolutely no visitors after birth, or maybe just a few, you’ll find plenty of food for thought to help you decide. And if you decide you really don’t want visitors, you’ll also find out how to tell friends and family ‘no’ (as gently as possible).
Reasons to say ‘no visitors for two weeks after birth’:
Healing, Exhausted Mom
After going through labor and delivery, you will be exhausted and sore. Your body will not only be healing from everything you went through, but if you choose to breastfeed, your body will be adjusting to that, too.
Having no visitors after birth will allow you privacy. You can go through your emotions without an audience, and you can adjust to this new time however you need.
I was glad we chose to have no visitors after birth because my nurses wouldn’t let me shower until the day after my son’s delivery. I would have felt uncomfortable being around friends and family while feeling like a mess.
Tired Partner, Too
Of course, you will be beyond tired after your labor and delivery. But, it’s also likely that your partner will be tired, too. Saying ‘no’ to visitors after birth will allow you and your partner to rest when you can, without having other people around.
If you choose to breastfeed, you and your baby have a lot of learning to do. Even if this isn’t your first baby, each child can take to breastfeeding differently. Plus, newborns nurse so frequently, so you will be spending quite a bit of time feeding your baby.
When it came to breastfeeding my son, I preferred privacy. I didn’t want our friends and family to see me breastfeed, especially during the first few days when I was trying to figure out the most comfortable position for my son.
Also, it’s so helpful to take advantage of lactation consultants while staying in the hospital. I was glad that I could get any help I needed without worrying about turning guests away.
No Skin-to-Skin Interruptions
Skin-to-skin time is a crucial activity to do with your newborn. It’s not only terrific for your baby but for you and your partner, too.
Having plenty of skin-to-skin time with your baby helps calm them and helps to regulate their body temperature. Plus, it’s overall a great bonding opportunity.
When you say no visitors for two weeks after birth, you have unlimited time to do skin-to-skin with your baby without interruptions. You won’t have to worry about shortening the time because a visitor has arrived.
Special Bonding Time For You and Your Partner
Whether this is your firstborn or your third, welcoming a new child is a beautiful time. While in the hospital, you and your partner have the opportunity to bond with the new baby.
If you decide not to allow visitors after birth, all of the time spent in the hospital is reserved for just you, your partner, and your new baby. You won’t have other people taking precious cuddle time away from you.
Getting Used to the New Normal at Home
Like having private bonding time while in the hospital, you also have a lot to get used to at home. Once you return home, you no longer have nurses to help you, and it’s overall a different feeling from being at the hospital.
Plus, if you have older children at home, the first few weeks will involve them getting used to this massive change as well.
Less Germ Exposure
It’s beneficial to have the least amount of germs around your newborn as possible. Having little to no visitors for two weeks after birth is a great way to limit that!
You might feel a little stress while staying in the hospital; you just had a baby, and you’re getting used to everything! When you add in visitors, it can make you feel a bit more stressed.
On the other hand, after you go home from the hospital, you might feel even more stressed at the thought of visitors.
When you limit visitors or even have no visitors for a while, you won’t feel the need to entertain guests. Also, you won’t care if the house is messy when you don’t have visitors coming.
Adjusting to life at home with a new baby can be overwhelming at times, so you may not even know how you feel about visitors until you are home for a few days.
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How To Tell Friends and Family ‘No Visitors for Two Weeks After Birth’:
Send a Group Text
If you have many people who want to visit your family in the hospital, but you want no visitors, it might be easiest to send a group text instead of making a bunch of phone calls. If this seems like the best option for you, here is an excellent example for you to use:
Hello friends! As you know, baby ___ will be joining our family any day, and we can’t wait for you to meet him/her. With that being said, we would like to have some privacy as a new family for ___ days/weeks before we introduce visitors. We appreciate your understanding and will see you soon!
Post on Social Media
Like sending a group text, you can also post on social media to let your family and friends know your wishes. You can use the wording example above to post on social media, too!
Don’t Announce Until You’re Ready
One of the simplest ways to have no visitors after birth is not announcing it right away. Of course, if you are a working mom, you’ll have to tell your employer to start your maternity leave. But, you can politely ask your employer not to tell your coworkers.
How long you wait to announce the birth of your baby is up to you. You can wait until the day after or wait until you get home. Either way, it can ensure you won’t have visitors until you’re ready.
Put A (Polite) Sign on the Hospital Room Door
Suppose you want a way to say ‘no visitors’ without interrupting what you are doing while in the hospital; you can put a sign on the hospital room door. Using a sign will help you tell friends and family what you prefer if they show up without calling you first.
Have a Boundary Gatekeeper
It can be harder to stand your ground with your boundaries when you are tired, especially if someone is being pushy. That’s why it is constructive to have a boundary gatekeeper.
A boundary gatekeeper is someone who knows what you want and will advocate for you. This person could be your mom or partner, but it needs to be someone who won’t sway when pushed a little.
Your boundary gatekeeper will be the one who talks to visitors who show up unannounced at your hospital room door. Also, they can answer your calls and texts if you need them to.
Just Say ‘No’
If you have a friend or family member who isn’t taking the hint that you don’t want visitors, you can flat out say no. There’s no need to beat around the bush.
Schedule Visiting Time at a Later Date
Once you have your baby and you start getting requests for visits, it can be helpful to schedule them for a later date.
Scheduling visits later on can help people accept not being able to visit you at the hospital because it gives them a date to look forward to. Not to mention, it gives you the privacy that you need!
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Remember: You Can Say ‘Yes’
Let’s say that you do decide to have no visitors after birth, but once you have your baby, you change your mind. That’s fine! Don’t feel like you can’t change your mind because you have already told people one thing. I’m sure your friends and family would be excited by the decision change.
Also, don’t feel guilty if you want to pick and choose who can visit you after your labor and delivery. Maybe you strictly want immediate family or just a few close friends. Whatever you choose will be best.
Whatever you decide, make sure you set some basic ground rules for visiting your newborn. These rules are placed to make visits comfortable for you and your guests!
What if I only want a few visitors?
As I mentioned above, it’s ok if you choose only to have a few visitors. Having a few people visit you after your labor and delivery can make things a little more straightforward. Although, there are some things that you’ll want to think about beforehand:
What are your boundaries?
Before you have visitors, you’ll want to think about your boundaries. Are you ok with people holding or kissing your baby? Are you alright with nursing your baby in front of others?
If the answer to any of these questions is no, think about how you would like to make your boundaries known to your visitors.
Make Sure They Are VIPs
When choosing a small list of visitors, you’ll want to ensure that these people are essential in your life and bring you happiness. The last thing you want is someone that brings you down to visit you when you are healing.
So, in other words, don’t let someone visit you after birth because you feel obligated to let them. This is your time, mama!
Make Your Own Visiting Hours
Lastly, it’s a good idea to make your own visiting hours clear; choose an ideal window of your day for people to visit. And, even better, request that visitors call or text you before they come for the visit to ensure that you aren’t resting.
What if my husband wants visitors after birth, but I don’t?
If you find that you and your partner disagree on having visitors or not, here are some critical things you can do:
It can be helpful to sit down with your partner and discuss why you don’t want visitors after your labor and delivery. Explain every detail of what you feel so they have a better idea of your reasoning.
Also, listen to their reasons for why they do want visitors.
After sitting down and discussing both sides, try to come to a conclusion. If your partner still insists on having visitors after you’ve said your reasons, maybe you both can meet in the middle.
For example, choose a minimal list of people who can visit and keep their visits short. But, at the end of the day, if having visitors is something that will make you feel uncomfortable, then stand your ground. Feeling uncomfortable with visitors when you have a new baby is something you want to avoid altogether.
In the end, only you and your partner know what’s best for your growing family. If you decide to have no visitors for two weeks after birth, know that your decision isn’t selfish. You can’t get those first few weeks with your newborn back, and you won’t regret having private, bonding time with family.
Before you go, check out these related articles:
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What do you think about having no visitors for two weeks after birth? I would love to know in the comments below!